Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he just fucked me for my cheese.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
