My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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