There was a lot of him and a little penis
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
be right there i have to get my cape
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
