Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
