If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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