Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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