kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
