Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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