i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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