She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
