Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
