My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
