I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
