so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
