Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
