He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
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Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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