ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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