is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
