Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
