dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
