seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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