look no pants
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
