Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
