Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
