Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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