i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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