I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
