Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
