I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
