I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The air taste purple.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
