What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
