My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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