bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
