I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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