dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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