I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
