so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize