Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
