She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize