so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
