if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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