u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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