girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize