i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
