It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize