maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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