It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's never too late to be topless.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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