I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
