The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
