i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
