just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
