Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
