The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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