When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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