Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
