how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
