yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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