dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
