dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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