Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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