i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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