i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
