I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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